I Gave Claude Access To My Personal Notes

As I was reflecting on my journey through a PhD in psychology, years of meditation practice, and navigating the messy reality of human connection, I realized there are a few core lessons that keep surfacing.

These aren't the typical productivity hacks or optimization frameworks. These are the deeper patterns that have shaped how I understand both the mind and how to actually live well.

Lesson 1: Regression is Inevitable

Personal growth has a major downside: just because you grow doesn't mean people around you do.

I've learned that growth is never linear. You may have a good patch of learning and growing, but one trigger and it may feel like it's all lost. This could be being around the same people who harbor the very patterns you've undone, a health scare, or a major loss.

No one is exempt from regressing. But here's what I've noticed: the regression is less painful now, and my recovery time to a stable state is shorter. That's the real progress.

Lesson 2: Your Brain's Default Mode is Making You Suffer

Here's something fascinating from neuroscience: when you're not focused on a specific task, your brain activates what's called the Default Network—a collection of regions including the medial prefrontal cortex and posterior cingulate cortex.

This network is responsible for self-referential thinking, mind-wandering, and rumination. It's literally the neural substrate of "getting lost in your head." Studies show that excessive Default Network activity is linked to depression, anxiety, and general unhappiness.

From years of meditation practice, I've learned that on the concept level, things look permanent. But when you train attention to stay present—essentially regulating this Default Network—you see impermanence everywhere. The clearer we see change, the less we cling. The less we cling, the less we suffer.

Lesson 3: Connection is Everything (And the Data Proves It)

After spending years meditating as a child, I realized that being a recluse in the woods is incomplete. To truly live meaningful lives, we need to connect with others.

This isn't just philosophical—it's empirical. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which followed 268 men for over 80 years, found that good relationships are the strongest predictor of happiness and health. Not career success, not wealth, not even physical health markers.

If there's one intervention anyone can make to improve their overall wellbeing, it's to make more friends and deepen existing connections. The evidence base here is overwhelming.

Lesson 4: Emotional Intelligence is Your Deepest Strength

Being privileged to grow up in a family of expert meditators and doing hardcore silent retreats as a teenager gave me an edge in understanding emotions. But the real lesson isn't about the practices—it's about what happens when you're emotionally thriving.

When I'm in emotionally healthy states, I rarely engage with negativity. I'm happy to "appear weak" because I know my inner strength. Emotional intelligence becomes your foundation for everything else.

Lesson 5: The Practice is a Means to an End

Mindfulness isn't about becoming more mindful itself—it's in service of investigating what is true. Awareness alone isn't sufficient. The goal isn't to meditate perfectly or optimize every metric of your existence. It's to systematically reduce suffering and cultivate genuine wellbeing.

This distinction matters because it shifts you from treating practices as ends in themselves to understanding them as tools for specific outcomes.