The Four Attachment Styles
Have you ever felt jealous in a relationship or friendship? Have you ever felt you repeat the same patterns of avoidance or attachment when you are with someone? Do you find it hard to feel secure in relationships?
Me too.
Luckily, in psychology, there is a theory that explains all these behaviours and helps us course correct. This is the famous "Attachment Theory".
This theory proposes that the way we relate to others (i) is explained by the relationship we have with our parents (or caregivers), and (ii) falls into just 3-4 distinct categories. These are:
- Secure: marked by feeling safe in a relationship
- Avoidant Attachment: marked by wanting to avoid intimacy and connection
- Anxious Attachment: marked by being paranoid about the relationship
- Anxious-avoidant Attachment: a combination of 3 and 4
Attachment styles predict a lot. They predict with whom you start relationships and whether that will be healthy. The predict how satisfactory you feel in that relationship. And more.
If you want to take your relationships seriously, you have to take attachment styles seriously.
If you are interested, I created this YouTube video on attachment theory. Please do watch it if you find the topic relevant. And then let me know what do you think your attachment style is!